Don’t understand your fetish? Do you think it makes you a freak? Are you concerned that if you were to seek out a professional to talk to that they wouldn’t understand? That they would label you?
Do me a favor. If you go see a shrink, make sure that they are BDSM aware and friendly. There is nothing wrong with your fetish, and you should not have anyone tell you otherwise. Think about it. You are a very sophisticated and complex biological organism. There is a reason that you have the sexual and other types of desires that you have, and it is most likely that they are taking you in a direction that benefits you.
Remember Safe, Sane and Consensual, and for the love of this universe, do not allow yourself to be marginalized.